Change of Heart

15th September, 8am, sunny crisp early autumn day. Tide half way up the beach. Little wind.

One of the processes that has evolved since starting this project, is that the journey to and from the beach is as important as the time at the beach. What I have started to do is record my thoughts on the car journey home. In the thirty minute trip, I talk about the experience photographing that day, the tide, the light, the subject, then I reflect on my own feelings and emotions at that present moment as I drive home. Then on the journey to the beach the following week I listen to the previous narration. So why do this? And what value does it bring?

The are a couple of really valuable points to this process. Simple, like journalling on paper, it allows you to reflect on how you are actually feeling, the more you talk, like the more you right in a journal to uncover the truth, you start to peel back the layers of emotion. Until around half way through the conversation with yourself, you begin to understand why you feel a certain way, what are you blockers, where can you begin to address anything you need to change.

The second value is one of the process of listening back. Listening to yourself talk about how you felt, often is like listening to a complete stranger talk about themselves. As with the experience this week, the person talking the previous week, was slightly depressed, no energy, no drive etc. The person listening this week, was full of positivity, full of energy and full of trying to solve a problem.

As humans we ebb and flow with our emotions, every emotion is transient, every feeling is dependant on so many outside sources and every emotion can change for seemingly no reason at all.

When you are in the "storm" there is nothing else you can imagine, you cannot remember a time before the storm, or a time afterward. There is no escape. But in reality the "storm" always passes, it could take an hour or it could take a week, but like the light on the beach, it always is changing. The same is true when we are experiencing a time of happiness, we cannot imagine a time of sadness.

If I look at the footprint in the sand, I have made it, it exists, and is very real, but slowly, as the environment around it changes, it changes. The wind, the water, even other people slowly effect its presence on the beach. Until it has gone completely. Our experience of life, the world, our reality and our emotions are no different. Until another footprint forms.